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The Scripts That Calm Upset Patients

Nov 05, 2025
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You ever have that moment when a patient says,

“It didn’t hurt until you touched it, Doc,”

and your stomach just drops?

You’re not alone.

Those moments test every one of us.
You did everything right, but now the patient is upset and wants you to pay for their root canal.

I’ve been there.
I’ve lost sleep over those calls.

Here’s what I’ve learned after years of going through it myself and coaching other docs through the same thing.

1. Set expectations early.
If you wait until after there’s a problem to explain what could happen, it sounds like an excuse.
Say it up front and it becomes a reason.

2. Lead with empathy.
When someone is in pain, start there.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting. Let’s take care of you.”
You can’t lose when you show that you care.

3. Treatment plan for reality, not hope.
Early on, I was what Steve calls a hero dontist.
I’d patch big fillings to “save” patients money.
Eight weeks later the tooth broke, and it was on me.

4. Do something when they come back sore.
If someone returns with pain, don’t just mark it and say “give it time.”
Get in there.
Most problems are bite related, not mystery pain.

5. Give clear post-op instructions.
Tell them what’s normal, what’s not, and that you want to hear from them if it feels off.
That one minute saves ten headaches later.

These situations are never fun, but when you handle them right,
they actually build more trust than if everything had gone perfectly.

In this episode:
We break down the exact scripts and strategies that keep patient problems from turning into practice problems.

Tune in to hear the word-for-word phrases I use to set expectations and handle those “it didn’t hurt until you touched it” moments with confidence.

When It Didn't Hurt Until You Touched It. What to Say and How ...

It's the classic lose-lose situation: a patient walks in with no pain, goes home, and calls you back and says, "I'm having pain and it di...

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Thank you everyone, I hope you are all doing well!  Thanks for your continued support of the podcast!

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